NOT IN FRONT OF A GUITARIST

When you meet a guitarist, you must be asking many questions and showing many of your desires and dreams but do you know those 10 things which you shouldn’t say in front of a guitarist?

Well here are they(10 things which a guitarist hates most)-

1. “Ek do tune sikha de yaar”

Dude you are not holding a glass of mango juice and asking for some more crushed cashew on the top, it’s a guitar which you need to learn and practice first. If it was so easy to learn those “ek do tune”, then everyone would have been a guitarist. I am not saying it’s very difficult or not your cup of tea but then…. Just keep your mouth shut and better not request these type of things

2.  “Kitne time lag jayega sikhne me?”

Are you buying a “speak English in 30 days book” or going to cook BHAJIA? Different people have different grasping power and way of practicing and it all depends on it. And at till which level you want to learn because there is no end to it. You can keep on learning new things in your guitar for your lifetime and still something would be missing. So there is no syllabus and time limit for learning guitar.

3. “Kuch baja ke suna de”

Being a guitarist I seriously go numb when people ask this to me. I know people who ask something like this expect some magic to come out of the guitar which will blow away their mind but that doesn’t happen and specially when you are a bollywood freak and don’t listen to real music. So don’t embarrass a guitarist by such requests.

4. “Mera bhi bada saukh tha guitar sikhne ka”

Saukh badi cheez hai but not in this case. 90 % of the people have such type of fantasize which end up with a grubby guitar in the corner of your room.  If you were having such dreams then what happened? You lost your hands under the train, or you lost your fingers when typing?  No, you just thought about it and left it like all the 100 things you plan to do in a day and end up sleeping for the whole day.

5. “Ladkiya to khub patayi hongi guitar se”

I didn’t hear anywhere an offer like “Buy one guitar and get an already impressed girl free’. I know many girls like guitar but then what? So does boys. Don’t even dare to ask such type of questions which will make you look like a fool and typical #$%@.

6. “Ye string ko chune se bajta hai ya dusra haath bhi lagana padta hai”

Are you kidding me? Are you blind or just trying to be? You mean to say all the guitarist play with their one hand and use other hand just for show off. Oh my god. It’s like asking a footballer, do you play with both of your legs? No he plays with his one leg and uses other to clean his ears. Lolz.

7. “Kuch atif ka suna do”

If you will stab a guitarist, he will still be thankful to you instead of this request. I know this common perception of Atif Aslam and guitar but for real musicians it’s like Tushar Kapoor and acting, yes I am very serious.

8. “Tumhara tuntuna kaha hai”

Seriously? Tuntuna? Ohk, then you are checking a guitarist’s patience and it is too short then you are in trouble my friend. It is called as a guitar, it has been given a name so that people can call it by the name. Are you still just trying to understand what I am telling? If yes then you are inviting your death.

9. “Mai bhi sochta hoon band bana loo”

It’s not like making a Facebook account. It’s a band which needs co-ordination, brotherhood, mutual understanding, common sense of music and many more things. You need to be a good musician on individual level first then only you can form a band.

10. “Mere ghar pe bhi ek guitar hai”

Ohk, it’s not surprising. These days, having a guitar in your room is like having potatoes in your kitchen. But potatoes will be used if you will make Kashmiri dam aloo and guitar will be used if you will play it. So you are smart enough to understand it.